Revolver nob

Now that Proto is gone i get to assume the role of Superlongentryposter. Read on for massive paragraphs.

Lets tackle Weapons. Forum posters in the S4 section of Alaplaya talk about the “best” and “worst” weapons a lot, I’ve noticed. All of you are entitled to your own opinion, yes? I have an opinion as well, and it may be similar to yours or you may completely disagree with me.

I hope you all have already reached the conclusion that it doesn’t matter what weapon you’re using, you will at some point in your S4 experience, be called a noob. The obvious ones are if you’re using Homing Rifle, Spark, TB, and possibly Dagger. Might have missed one. Those weapons, i’m sorry but you’re just asking for it if you’re running around believing to be a God while sliding from side to side with your cross-hair, and your sperm balls flying at some boys face. Put a lid on your pants please.

If you however, are using a weapon that takes you time to learn, get a handle of and successfully take someone out, that is what skill is. Even if you are attempting to kill with SpermRifle and you can’t, as you go, you will be able to. You’re progressing. You’re getting better, therefore gaining skill. The weapons that will take you more time to get a hold of are ones with weird spray patterns from what you’re used to, and ones that hit dead on the target. For example, RailGun. Few people have a good enough amount of reflex to get a hang of this Sniping gun right away. But for others (like me) i’m constantly charging mine over and over, releasing my mouse a hair too late. These things take time, and patience. That’s just the way it is.

I will admit that i periodically call someone a noob, but it does not happen often and i have to be really disappointed in myself for me to say it.

Additionally, i truly smile when i either get called, or see someone get called, a noob for using a weapon that in my opinion, is hard to get a hang of. For example, either of the sniping weapons. Doesn’t matter how hard I’m raging or upset i am, if i am killed with a Railgun or Cannon i have to give credit to the person for that. Unless it’s by chance, as in someone was constantly missing me and just happened to get a hit on me. Particularly the ones that shove it in your face “haha i got you” then i have to throw a taunt back at them “wow that was pro! do it again so i can see : D” then they will get nervous and fail over and over again. Gotta love mind games.

Some fun things to do when you want to —- with someone;

  • When you are called a “-weaponhere- noob”, leave and come back with a weapon they’re using, track them down and kill them. Or wait until the end of the game but they will most likely leave when it’s over.
  • Bombs are always fun. Try learning the perfect time to throw the bomb as you’re about to die. That is especially fun in TD, but i’m sure you all know that.
  • Leave the room and join the opposite team, bring a bomb, suicide in the middle of the base, repeat.
  • Join a team and bring along the Healing Gun thing, throw your heavy balls at the opposite team. Again, especially fun in TD.

I assume there is more, but i either haven’t found them or haven’t tested them. Have fun and remember to screenshot these rage-o-rific moments! We’d love to post them

Here’s some recent laughable moments :

If you have any, upload them, share them, comment, subscribe, touch yourself, whatever.

Thanks for reading

– PitchaFit


This entry was posted in /Writer's Corner, Beyond the Pen and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Revolver nob

  1. Mr. Anonymous Wizard says:

    the links you posted are wrong, they hyperlink into the website.

  2. PitchaFit says:

    Liar! and am i blind or did the login button disappear

  3. Harakiry says:

    Stopped reading where Smash Rifle (SpermRifle?) was supposed to be an hard weapon to use. No not really I actually read it all.
    You know what I think? Your opinion is bullshit. Everyone is entitled to deploy any weapon, tactic or skill, no matter if butthurts like you consider them good or bad. Who the fuck gives a fuck about opinions? No one does. And weapons can’t be “noob” or “pro”, PEOPLE can.

    The Rail Gun and Canno are not exactly hard to use, it’s just that they are severely BROKEN, in a bad way. Those weapons in S4 are inaccurate as fuck, which is retarded considering the nature of such weapons. I’m talking about the delay when you release the click and when the laz0rzz appears, I’m talking about this top-tier faggotry:

    This delay makes sniping a guessing game, you have to shoot where you think the enemy WILL be… more gambling bullshit. You don’t snipe in S4 League, end of the story. S4 snipers should go fuck themselves with a cactus. You don’t compliment with someone that killed you luckily.

    Homo and Spark are both easy to use, like the name and function “homing” suggests, and considering it’s given to the new players for free. Easy to use but with a very limited potential. You don’t see a remotely good player using those two, because when you have enough aim to actually kill stuff, any weapon with a better damage output (including criticals) will be a better selection.

    Twin Blade is a fairly easy to use weapon, consolidated by the fact that it basically has no crits and a few attacks, indeed, but easy to use at its fullest potential = / = overpowered. What I’m trying to say is, the TB is a retardedly WEAK sword, the weakest sword available in the game before Katana and Sigma came. Considering its unreasonably long delays, the damage is way too low or viceversa.
    Dagger is the bad copy of the PS, enough said. Lower range with potential lower damage, no stun, no pushback, no Revenge piercing capability? Bitch, please, you use a Dagger solely for the moving speed. If you don’t you are an homosexual gay faggot. It sure is easy to use because it has only two attacks and no criticals, and it’s given to new accounts foh free, but again, easy to use doesn’t necessarily mean powerful.

    You named TB, SD, and not the almighty Counter Sword which is undoubtedly the strongest (or better, fucking overpowered) melee weapon available in the game? I will repeat myself when I say when I say the following: bitch, please.
    Personally, the weapon that makes me QQ the most when I’m killed is the Storm Bat, a weapon that rarely gets the rage of the players. Like, someone runs recklessly from nowhere in your face (or better, behind) and for some reason you don’t react in time… boom you’re fucking dead in one hit no chance to react no Revenge will work kthxbai. Frustrating, but I DEAL with it. I deal with it by screaming at the screen, flip the nearest table available or assault my wife, but I would never dare to call anyone “noob” in the game, I would never dare to insult someone because of how unskilled *I* was in that situation.

    And all of this isn’t a matter of “opinion”, these are FACTS. You should be ashamed for being killed by low-tier weapons, not top-tier ones lol.

    And one more thing. Let’s say you find a bad player playing horribly the game and completely failing at it, ok fine, so what? You do NOT dare to insult him by calling him “noob” or the likes, you let him play the game in fucking peace and love, because a game should be treated like a GAME where you’re supposed to have fun or be entertained, there’s no room for pathetic elitism.

    Btw, *I* am *I* do etc. is always capslock’d, keep it in mind for your next articles. Dis b grammarz.

    • PitchaFit says:

      I actually never said if the weapon was “pro” or “noob” i said there are weapons that you may be called a noob for using, not that they were “noob”. Please read my post completely or just don’t read it at all. And also, “Sperm” balls was referring to the Homing Rifle, i never mentioned Smash Rifle.

      Also, yes RG and Canon may be broken, but to me that just makes me look higher to anyone that can kill me over and over again with one of these weapons.
      I do have to agree with you about CS, and that was the weapon i was forgetting. I find it easy to .. not really “dodge” but more like “run away” when i see someone with this bearing down on me but if i’m not in an open area and have nowhere to run, then yes i absolutely hate CS, too.

    • Mr. Anonymous Wizard says:

      You sure like the word fuck. You said it 7 times in total, does that help you get your point across? Lets not forget that your opinions are opinions too and will never be facts.

      You seem butt hurt though, go see a doctor if it hurts so bad you have to write a comment, longer then the original post.

      • Harakiry says:

        You said “you” 7 times in that short message. I also said “game” 8 times, “easy” 6 times, “like” 5 times. What’s the problem? Fuck is a word like any other, and as such it can be used freely. Your false propriety amuses me.

        Everyone can use any weapon, skill or whatever the *FUCK* is in the game, and this is a fact, not an opinion.
        And what’s with the length of my comment? Some pathetic TL;DR bullshit? Poor boy, is that too much text to handle for you?

        Never said you specifically labeled some weapons as “noob”, I was just saying. But you clearly belittled the use of Homo/Spark/TB/SD and hyped Rail/Canno.
        “The obvious ones are if you’re using Homing Rifle, Spark, TB, and possibly Dagger. Might have missed one. Those weapons, i’m sorry but you’re just asking for it if you’re running around believing to be a God while sliding from side to side with your cross-hair, and your sperm balls flying at some boys face. Put a lid on your pants please.”
        “Additionally, i truly smile when i either get called, or see someone get called, a noob for using a weapon that in my opinion, is hard to get a hang of. For example, either of the sniping weapons.”
        “Doesn’t matter how hard I’m raging or upset i am, if i am killed with a Railgun or Cannon i have to give credit to the person for that.”

      • Mr. Anonymous Wizard says:

        You probably don’t realize it yourself, but apparently pitchafits post got you so hot that you had to reply with comment longer then the original post. This has nothing to do with tl;dr, but it only shows how much you care about the opinions of other players.

        And perhaps you are too stupid to realize that your comment was awaiting moderation because of your unneeded and over-usage of the word fuck. You should use the word fuck, in case you actually get laid, not wherever you please in order to make you look like a E-tough guy.

        Anyway, enjoy your nice little fight here, its probably everything you have anyway.

      • Harakiry says:

        It’s very banal from you to point out the length of my message, once again. There’s an Italian poem by the well known poet Giuseppe Ungaretti, it goes like this:
        “M’illumino d’immenso.”
        which can be translated in English with:
        “I flood myself with light of the immense.”
        And that is the WHOLE poem, a single verse. Do comments need to be necessarily shorter than that? I felt like writing a comment longer or equally long as the article, is that a problem? Logic: you do seem use none.

        Fuck, like most of the bad words, are very versatile words, but we both know this, I don’t really understand your argument (if any). More false propriety? Enough, no more please :

        And lol @ the lulzy filter, did you implement it Mr. mysterious wizard? That would explain why you’re so butthurt when I use the word fuck.

        Most of your replies to me were unjustified judgements or assumptions about me, and I don’t really know how to answer them since they are completely random and false.

        Can we just end this? The discussion brings nowhere.

  4. Harakiry says:

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    Are you fucking kidding me? So you started censoring comments now? The comment section was good because it was free. Revert it back FFS…

    • Reivalt Geriant says:


      I just checked and can see nothing in the settings that changed or started filtering comments. I’m still on my trip so I couldn’t look more in-depth (yet) but I will do so (as well as read this article) when I’m back.

      If anything, know that your comments are safe and sound — if they are somehow held for moderation they will be approved and will show up soon.

      Thanks and sorry for the trouble caused.

      • Harakiry says:

        I noticed that my second comment wasn’t filtered. Maybe too many comments from the same IP? Or comment being too long? I don’t know lol

  5. Reivalt Geriant says:

    Finally got to reading it. Was an amusing and interesting article to read, thanks for taking care of things in my absence. Especially the ‘Put a lid on your pants please.’ had me going good aha

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